Me, Uncle Don, and the 'Galvanized Garbage Can'
"At 16 I ran away from home and got a job as a carburetor at the hot rod races"
(Bob Dylan)
Me, Uncle Don, and the 'Galvanized Garbage Can'
IN THE BEGINNING
It was 1957 and I was 16 ... Me and my buddy Lloyd were messin' around with
cars - and getting into a bit of street racing - mostly 'stop light to stop
light' cars, 0 to 50 quicker then you could say it - made a few bucks at it
sometimes too ... The Renton 'Loop' was our hunting ground ... Like a lot of
gearhead kids in those days - we hung out at a wrecking yard - got our parts
and stuff there, and even got to use the shop - and when a 'cool' ride came
in on the truck - sometimes we'd snag it... The place was 'Hall's Auto
Wrecking', Issaquah Washington, and the proprietor was Don Hall...
Like all 'Junk Men' - Hall, (we just called him 'Uncle Don'), was a
roundy-rounder - did really well racing at the tracks around Seattle, and
knew a lot of 'tricks'...
So old 'Uncle Don' had this Model A roadster sitting in the corner of the
shop - he'd built it for the short tracks, but by the time he got it done,
'They' had quit running 'Track Roadsters' at the roundy-rounds up here ...
So there it sat - unused - and unwanted...
Well, Lloyd and I weren't particularly interested in the roundy-round life
style - but we, (especially me), were getting real interested in this Drag
Racing deal ... and after a bit of talking, convinced Hall to give the
drags a try - well he did - and we won! And ol' Uncle Don liked that...
The first thing you knew we were racing every Sunday - places like
Ellensberg, Shelton, Arlington, Bayview and Bremerton, even went all the way
over to Deer Park, (Spokane), now and then ... They were all airport strips,
the first 'real' drag strip built up here was 'Puyallup', (we were there
when it opened - I think in late 57 or '58')...
We were winning every week - pretty much always won our class, (A/Modified
Roadster), and took a few Top Eliminator trophy's too ... Ya know - that
Roadster was one ugly dude - but it was plenty fast ... Had a big Buick
Roadmaster straight 8 in it ... It had a roll bar made out of drive shafts -
and a bucket seat cut outa a 25 gallon oil drum ... Uncle Don painted it in
silver, (imitation chrome), spray can, (might have been what drove me to
become a painter<g>) ... The guys we raced against called it "The Galvanized
Garbage Can" ... so you can imagine how they felt getting beat by 'That' ...
and they got beat - - A Bunch!!!
Racing was pretty much just for trophies in those days, but Uncle Don, being
an ol' roundy-rounder - was pretty crafty, and used to make a bunch of bucks
on side bets with the guys when we beat 'em, (kept us eating at the best
hamburger joints) ... I've always suspected that the 'look' of the car was
just part of the plan he'd cooked up to get them to bet 'just a little bit
more', (but I never asked), 'cuz it was a money maker, (got me ready for the
later 'Funny Car Years'<g>)...
After a year or so racing with 'Uncle Don', me and a couple of other guys
put together a fuel coupe - and after that it was 'diggers' ... But that
time with 'The Galvanized Garbage Can' was lotsa fun - - and educational
too...
THE GALVANIZED RAINBOW
So it's getting towards the end of that first season, (57), and things are
pretty alright ... Here I am - 16, goin' to the drags every week with a car
that wins a bunch ... Granted - an ugly car - - But it's BAD! and it Wins!!
... We had that old eight in a line really hummin'... Won a buncha
trophies - and collected more then a few bucks on the side bets ... so I was
kinda 'cool' when school started that September ... I mean - our 'Junk Yard
Roadster' wasn't much for looks - - but then, contrary to popular belief -
kids didn't all drive 57 Chevy's in 57, (or even 55's), Old people drove
'em! Kids drove mostly primered 'beater' type deals i.e. the present 'Rat
Rod' movement - which is actually much more 'period correct' then most of
the street rods of today...
Then at one of the last races of the year it happened! We got beat for
class, (A/Modified Roadster), and worse yet - we got beat by a "Big Oz", (as
Hall called them) ... The OHV V8's were startin' to get faster, (more and
more speed equipment available for them all the time), - and 'bummer', we
got beat by a pretty car - guy from Shelton named 'Weaver' with a real nice
little red Olds powered 'T' with a six carbs on it ... And worse of all -
Uncle Don lost the 50 bucks he had bet on the race ... No burgers on the way
home!!!
Well, ol' Don stewed and mumbled about this all the way home ... "There had
to be some simple reason for this defeat" ... we were gettin' a lot of wheel
spin - if this dude would just 'hook up' it would be unbeatable! ... By the
time we got back to the wrecking yard he had the answer - Kinetic Energy!
... We needed more rotating weight!! ... We needed 'Bigger Meats'!!! ...
Jack Cross had an extra set of 'Big' 8" Bruce's off his dragster - the
biggest slicks available ... they were recaps - but guys like Haines & Cross
were runnin Big numbers on 'em - - and besides, that's all there was... So
we made a set of wide wheels, and hung those big dudes on the roadster - -
and went out and got beat by "The Big Oz" again! ... but we were closer!!
And Old Uncle Don knew - we were on the right track!!! ... It was a simple
question of 'dynamics' - more rotating weight was required ... Hmmmmmmm, how
to get more tire weight? ... Then it came to him in a flash of
brilliance!! - it was so simple - 'fill the slicks with water!!!
So the next week - off we went to do battle with the 'Big Oz' - with a
couple of 200 pound slicks on the roadster ... Right off the bat we knew
they were doing something - because the extra weight made the trailer tow
like one of those little yellow toy ducks on a string kids drag around...
But we made it over the mountains to the Ellensburg Airport ... Managed to
get the thing unloaded without anybody being tipped off to our 'secret
weapon' ... Our first run was for the class trophy - Us against that 'Big
Oz'...
Well, there was one thing that the engineering department didn't take into
account in those days before 'wrinkle walls' - that was that when you have
200 pound tires - they best be well attached to the rims ... Sure enough -
the rims spun in the tires! ... This - interestingly enough - caused the
valve stems on the tubes to rip off!! ... The car was moving right along,
(not as fast as the rims were going however), and this caused it to throw up
twin roostertails of spray above the car - and being it was a sunny day,
(pretty much always is in Ellensburg), it created the nicest 'Rainbow' you
ever saw - all the way through the lights!!!
We got beat again by 'The Big Oz' ... but for that one time, 'The Galvanized
Garbage Can' was the best looking car out there...
All that Silver, (Imitation Chrome), paint and a Rainbow 20 feet high was a
sight to behold!!! ... Too bad it was back in the days before 'track
photographers' ... Might have been in the days before cameras<ggg>
THE GREAT JUDSON CAPER
Old 'Uncle Don' loved Hudsons ... He used to call them 'Judsons', and he
always used a 'Judson' for a tow car...
It was another race at Ellensburg - so we were on the road bright and early
... E-burg was less then three hours from Issaquah - but it was on the other
side of a major mountain pass ... We stopped at the store on the way outa
town, where Hall bought a big Watermelon - which he cut up into large
chunks, and as we headed up the pass he proceeded to eat them - spitting the
seeds on the floor - and throwing the rinds in the back seat ... I wasn't
hungry ... As we approached the Snoqualmie Pass summit it seemed like the
old Judson was making a little more noise then usual, Uncle Don had been
using this 'Hornet' for a couple of months, and usually after a few weeks
the tow car went back to the junk yard and a fresh one was hooked up to the
trailer... The noise was pretty steady now - like something was trying to
get out of the engine ... Once we got over the top - and were heading down
the other side of the pass, it quieted down pretty good ... But ol' Uncle
Don was worried - so we stopped in Ellensburg and he called 'Grace', (the
Missis), and told her to bring the DeSoto, (back up tow car), over ... then
we headed on out to the strip, (airport), for the race - which we won - and
Grace showed up with the DeSoto, which Hall hooked to the trailer ... I'd
drive the Hudson back...
As we headed up the pass the noise started to get loud again ... I turned up
the radio - but it was getting 'LOUD'! Then, all of a sudden it quit ...
got nice and quiet ... Weird! I looked in the rear view mirror - and I
couldn't see anything - not even the DeSoto - - just a big cloud of smoke!!
Better Stop!!! We look under the hood ... "Hey! why's there a rod laying
down there on the frame?" - "Hmmmmmm..... it looks like a Hudson rod" -
"Uh-Oh"...
"Freddy!", says Uncle Don - - "You blew up my Judson!!" ... "Kinda already
had a lose rod", I reply ... Hall just came back with a "Harrumph!!!" - and
hooked the Hudson to the back of the race car trailer ... We towed that way
to the top of the pass, where Uncle Don stuffed an old pair of coveralls in
the (sizable) hole in the block - drained the oil out of the roadster - and
poured it in the Hudson - push started it - and sent me on my way ... It was
about a 35 mile trip back down the hill to the wrecking yard ... And Man!
did I lay down some smoke!! In fact even the inside of the car was full of
smoke - but that wasn't so bad - - because it drove away the fly's that the
Watermelon rinds were attracting ... Felt like Barney Oldfield trying to
make the last lap at Indy!!!
Made it though ... drove that dude right to Uncle Don's gate - and it quit
right there ... Just kinda went Klonk!!!
After that, every time we went racing - Hall would remind me of the time I
'blew up' his favorite 'Judson'...
A few (maybe 20 or 30) years later ... Old Uncle Don came around the shop of
a friend of mine selling some kind of racing oil or additive or something
like that ... and my name came up in the course of the conversation - and
Uncle Don 'allowed' that maybe I wasn't really 'totally' responsible for the
death of his 'Favorite Judson'...
My - how time mellows...<g>
UNCLE DON'S ADDICTION
Don Hall loved to gamble ... at the drags he'd always have a buck or twenty
riding on his races ... He called it, "Puttin' your money where yer mouth
is"... He'd bet on races between other guys too - in fact he was more then
happy to bet on most anything - played high stakes poker every week with a
bunch of other local business men ... and he usually came out ahead - Way
Ahead!
Well ... out in the wrecking yard there was a shed - where Hall kept his
best transmissions - it was dark in there, and kinda dank - and guess what
liked it in there besides transmissions? ... Spiders! ... Generation after
generation of big light brown spiders... So one extra hot summer, Uncle Don
noticed that there was one spider that was bigger then the rest - in fact he
was WAY bigger then the rest - it was the biggest spider he'd ever seen!
musta been some kinda mutant or something!! Hall made note of the fact that
the other spiders stayed away from him, if they got to close - they were
dead spiders! This was not only the biggest spider ever ... it was also a
Killer Spider!!! Hall named the spider 'Century', in honor of his favorite
Buick ... and at the poker game that week - he talked up his spider...
Well sure enough, the first thing you knew - a couple of the other players
were saying they had some pretty big spiders around their place's too ... So
that Saturday - they brought their eight leggers out to the wrecking yard to
see what they could do... Uncle Don's spider was a terror - just like he
figured, just touch those other spids' and they'd curl up and die ... Lotta
money changed hands that day - and word got around... Pretty soon guys were
just showing up outa the blue with a spider - and a pocket full of cash -
lookin' to knock off 'The King', 'specially guys from other wrecking yards -
no place grows spiders like a junk yard, they all took their shot - and they
all went down!!!
THE RINGER
My buddy Lloyd and I were working down at the airport that summer at my
Dad's shop, he ran a small airfreight outfit, (mostly C-46's and DC-4's),
and also wheeled and dealed in parts and the occasional beater plane or
copter...
So Lloyd and I are unloading a bunch of wheels that had just come in from
California ... Lloyd picks up a wheel - and drops it! yelling "Spiders!!",
I look - and the wheel is full of spider webs - and dead spiders ... and way
in the back - is this bad looking black spider - with a little bit of orange
on it ... Lloyd and I look at each other ... "We may have a contender
here!!!
So we made a neat little cage out of a wooden cigar box with screen on the
front and, (very carefully), got the spider, (we named her 'Lizzy'), out of
the wheel - and into her new home ... We tested her on a couple of other
spiders we caught - she had 'The Gift' alright ... The other spiders would
die as soon as they saw her ... She was Lethal!!!
We went out to Hall's the next day and started working 'Old Uncle Don' ...
Told him we had a spider 'in training' - feeding it a special diet that
Lloyd had learned about at collage ... Well, Hall thought that was just
about the funniest thing he'd ever heard - he knew nothin' could take his
spider - and he told us so... We set up the 'match' for the next Saturday
... Then Hall said, "how much you gonna put on this?', we didn't have much
money - but then we weren't too worried about losing either! so we settled
on a few hundred dollars - which we could work off at the wrecking yard -
against a couple of cars hall had we wanted...
The big day came - and a bunch of guys showed up - they knew Lloyd and I
were up to something, they just weren't quite sure what... They were all
'Spider Fight' fans, and a lot of money was changing hands - - Lloyd and I
made more then a few side bets ... If we lost this deal - we were gonna be
sneaking out the back<g> Then Lloyd went over to the car and brought out
'Lizzy'... It was like bringing out the 'Sonny Liston' of spiders ... and
Hall's piece wasn't no 'Cassis Clay' ... Uncle Don looked in the cage and
his eyes got big ... He cried FOUL! ... you can't run no 'widows' here!! ...
We had to remind him - "You said 'Century' could take 'any spider' ...
everybody who was there reminded him of that fact - - even the guys who had
money on Hall's spider were enjoying this......
Well - the outcome was pretty cut and dried ... 'Century' took one look at
'Lizzy' and dropped like a stone ... wasn't quite as easy to get our
winnings though - but we eventually did ... Two Buick Century's - a 41, and
a 42 ... So 'Lizzy the Spider' was good to us...
But we got out of the fight game after that...
SHOP RAGS
The other thing - besides spiders, (and Hall's kids), that grew in the junk
yard were 'White Cats' - long haired white cats ... Halls Auto wrecking was
an 'outside-of-town' kinda junk yard, so there were plenty of mice -
thousands of the little squeakers, and the white cat population rose and
fell in direct relation to the mouse population...
The white cats were everywhere - including plenty of them in the shop ... so
when Hall was out there putting together one of his 'Killer' Buicks - and
had to get some oil or grease off his hands - he'd just grab a convenient
white cat ... Hey! ... self-propelled shop rags ... So besides keeping the
mouse population under control - the white cats also earned their keep by
doing shop rag duty The cats had somehow genetically mutated, (probably
explains their color), and the grease didn't seem to affect them ... A
geneticist would have had a field day at that place<g>
copyright Fred Vosk
2006
